


He Belongs Here

by FlyAbove



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 12x12 Coda, Cas and Dean talk, Episode: s12e12 Stuck In The Middle (With You), FEELINGS ARE SHARED, M/M, s12 spoilers, they need to just kiss already
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-17
Updated: 2017-02-17
Packaged: 2018-09-25 05:03:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9803669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlyAbove/pseuds/FlyAbove
Summary: Right after Cas gets healed and Dean says "Let's go home"





	

**Author's Note:**

> That episode was the worst. I'm not okay. Here's Dean and Cas talking. About feelings and shit. 
> 
> I wrote this in like an hour. Apologies for any mistakes. I'm blaming it on yesterday's episode making me not be able to think straight.

Cas wobbles toward the barn doors, holding onto his bloody shirt as if it was the only thing keeping him upright. He wasn’t in much pain anymore after Crowley broke Michael’s lance, but he has this bone deep soreness that he just couldn’t shake. Almost like a runner after finishing a marathon. Thankfully Dean was by him every step, his hands hovering near Cas’ side in case he fell.

“Head toward the impala, Sam and Mom will drive your truck back to the bunker. I don’t want you driving tonight.” Dean says, his worry obvious with each word.

Cas grunts as Dean leads him to the impala. “I’m fine.”

“I know man. I know. Just let me drive, you need the rest. It’s been a long night.” Dean slowly helps Cas get into the passenger seat and closes the door.  
He walks over to the trunk, where Sam is organizing all the supplies they used.

“You think he’ll be okay?” Sam asks.

Dean shakes his head and sighs, letting his head fall back to look at the starry sky. It’s a sound Sam knows too well. Dean’s scared.

“God I hope so. I don’t – I” Dean pauses, tears forming around his eyes. He wipes them away with the sleeve of his jacket. “Watching my best friend rot from the inside, choking on that damn black goo while I stood there unable to help, I couldn’t stand it. I didn’t want to look Sammy. I almost spent Cas’ last moments on earth staring at the ground because I couldn’t bear to watch him suffer like that.”

Sam hates seeing his brother like this. It was torture watching Cas suffer like that, and it was a completely different torture watching his brother try and keep what little hope he had alive for Cas’ sake.

He wraps an arm around Dean’s shoulder and pulls him into a hug, letting Deans head fall gently on his chest as he quietly sobs. It reminds Sam of all the times Dean had comforted him like this as a child.

“He’s okay Dean. We weren’t gonna let him die. We will always find a way.” Sam assures him.

Dean sits up. "Yeah." He shrugs.

“I am going to drop Mom off at a motel about 3 hours from here. She has a lead for another hunt. A djinn or something like that. I’ll be back at the bunker late tomorrow morning. You and Cas head home and get some rest. You both need it.” Sam gets up and claps Dean on the shoulder. “Call me if you need anything.”

“I will, tell Mom I’ll call her when she wakes up.” Dean looks toward the truck, where a sleeping Mary sits in the passenger seat. “I don’t know how she fell asleep so fast.”

“Been a rough day.”

Dean scoffs. “Understatement.’’

Dean walks back to the impala, nods at Sam one more time and gets in.

“What do you want to listen to Cas?” Dean pats Cas on the knee to get his attention.

Cas glances at Dean and then back at his lap. “You.”

“Me?”

“Yes. Talk to me. Tell me anything. I just want to hear your voice. I never thought I’d hear it again.” 

Well. Damn. What do you say to that?

“Alright,” Dean says, unable to find the correct words. A few minutes pass in uncomfortable silence, the only sound coming from the roar of the impala’s engine.

Dean mentally kicks himself. Cas pours his soul out during what he thought were his last moments alive and Dean can’t even think of a dumb story to tell just so his best friend can listen to the sound of his voice to comfort him.

At the barn Dean was ready to spill everything, eight years of repressed feelings and thoughts were ready to burst out. He wasn’t going to let Cas die without knowing. He deserved to know. But admitting his feelings then would have been admitting that Cas would die. And he wasn’t going to let that happen.  
So why is it so hard to talk to him now? Cas is an arm’s reach away and yet Dean feels as if there’s miles between him.

“Fuck it.” Dean curses. 

It’s amazing what watching your best friend/love of your life will do to your priorities. 

“Did I ever tell you about the time I fell in love with you?” Dean asks.

Cas whips his head away from the car window and stares at Dean but says nothing.

“One day, Sam and I came home from a hunt. A wendigo hunt. It went south, I bruised the hell out of my ribs and fractured three of my fingers. Sam got a nasty gash on his back. Looked like Wolverine got a hold of him.” Dean laughed softly, expecting Cas to do the same. But Cas hadn’t moved a muscle.

“Anyways, I’m cleaning up my wounds while Sam bitched about his and I remembered I totally forgot to call you to tell you we got home safe. So I walked upstairs to my room, prepared to call you and check in, and there you were. Laying in my bed watching some dumb ass documentary on how baseballs are made.”

Dean pauses to take the exit off the freeway.

“You didn’t even see me at first, that’s how enthralled you were Cas. You were smiling this goofy smile, using your trenchcoat as a makeshift blanket even though mine was perfectly fine to use. And I thought ‘What I’d give to be able to wake up and see this every day.’ Seeing you that happy and relaxed. It made me happy.” Dean looks over to Cas. 

“Dean, I don’t –“ Cas starts. He doesn't finish though. He can't believe this is happening.

“Cas, listen to me. I have been awful. What you said back there, everything you told us. Those are things we should have been telling you all this time. It took you dying for us to make it clear what you mean to us. That’s not okay Cas. I’m sorry.”

Cas sympathizes with Dean. It’s not like Cas is an open book either. Years of running around, not telling Dean or Sam what was happening until it was too late. “Dean you don’t have to apologize. Not to me.”

“No Cas, I do need to apologize. I should have apologized years ago. I will make it up to you.” Dean promises. “I almost let you die without telling you how I truly feel. I will always regret that.”

“Dean.” Cas says his name like it’s the only thing he knows.

“I love you, Cas. I was a fool not to tell you sooner. You are my family. I wasn’t going to let you die. As long as I’m alive and kicking, I will fight for you. And so will Sam. You hear me?” 

Cas has spent eight years on Earth. Eight years of fighting, abandonment, pain and suffering. Eight years of falling, eating in random diners and sleeping in shady motels. Eight years that, if given the choice, he would do all over again just so he could spend more time with the Winchesters. 

He finally knows exactly where he belongs. 

Dean intertwines his fingers with Cas’. A feeling of warmth and safety washes over him. Something he hasn't felt in a very long time.

“Yes, I hear you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Countdown to when Dean finally says I love you back to Cas. Taking bets now. What do you think? End of s12?


End file.
